Can Nice Guys Finish First

A cursory look at the behavior of many leaders in politics, business, athletics, and entertainment could conclude that the best way to succeed is to be a bully!  Media coverage of these leaders often includes a reflection of styles that can be considered, at best, bombastic, rude, unkind, and discourteous.  A conclusion, therefore, might be supportive of the quote famously attributed to the late Leo Durocher (former manager of the baseball Brooklyn Dodgers) that “Nice guys finish last”.

As a parent, grandparent, businessperson and concerned citizen, I find this both discouraging and inaccurate.  I contend that “Nice guys CAN finish first” and, in fact, can sustain that first-place position longer!  Additionally, since conducting research some years ago for my book, The Kindness Revolution (2006, New York, NY, AMACOM), I have written and reported on numerous companies who succeed as a result of a leadership culture based on kindness.

For the sake of this article, let’s begin with a few definitions and assumptions.

We will define “nice” for this article as the equivalent of kind.  It is important to note that most definitions of the terms clearly differentiate the two. One of the key characteristics of “kindness” is the habit of taking other people’s feelings into consideration.  However, for this article, we will define them as equal and the same.

If we go further, and define “unkind”, then we will include behavior that does not take the other person’s feeling in consideration, i.e. inconsiderate.

Given the choices, then, a reasonable question would be “Why would someone choose to be inconsiderate of others?”  Doesn’t this seem obvious?

History is ripe with stories of leaders who displayed “tough guy” traits of behavior; strong language, insults to others (i.e. subordinates or competitors), physical confrontation, and a lot of noise!  Often times, these same stories end with the ultimate collapse of the tough guy, resulting in delight from these same subordinates and competitors, best described by the German word schadenfreude, which is the pleasure derived by the misfortunes of others.

This “tough guy” behavior can be traced to a number of sources.  In some cases, it is a result of upbringing…a parental role model who has taught that brash, arrogant, strong behavior leads to best results. In other cases, it is the behavior of a coach, athlete, or military leader who is being emulated.  It can even be a fictional person, such a movie character, which is the model.  Whatever, the source, it appears that in most cases, the desire of the behavior is the position of power that is obtained.

The fact that is too often overlooked, however, is that in many cases, the “tough guy bully” hasn’t used the bully behavior to get to the top.  He is already there! He is a member of the lucky sperm club (i.e. born on third base but thinking they hit a triple), or a great athlete handed the coaching job.

It really doesn’t take any skill to be tough when you are more powerful, bigger, or at the top of others.  It takes absolutely no talent or knowledge for the rich to bully the poor, or for the coach to push around the athlete, or for the officer to rough up the enlisted man.  For the manager to bully the subordinate is not a trait of leadership, but rather a RESULT of being in a leadership position.

So how does the “nice guy (or gal)” get to the top and stay there?

Perhaps by remembering the following:

The number of studies that indicate that trust is an invaluable trait of an effective leader, and that trust is a direct bi-product of respect.  When respect to others is shared, it tends to draw respect.

That kindness should not be confused with weakness.  Kind people can be decisive, strong, assertive, and firm.  They simply choose to behave with dignity and grace as opposed to abrasiveness and aggressiveness.

That The Law of Attraction is a powerful force in leadership.  Simply stated, kind and respectful individuals (and organizations, for that matter) tend to attract kind and respectful employees.  Similarly, gruff and aggressive individuals and organizations will tend to attract similar behavioral styles.

That individuals who lead with compassion and kindness will retain employees and followers longer than those who lead with negativity and impoliteness.

Take a second and ask yourself…who would YOU rather follow in a difficult time during stress or conflict… the leader who is going to tell you how to get things done, harass you as it’s being done, and then take the credit for the success (or give the blame for the failure), or the leader who stays calm, encourages work with a team culture, and shares the success or takes fault for the blame. Do you want someone who is anxious and insulting, impatient and loud, or would you prefer a calming, listening, and compromising person at the top?

You know the answer…..

 

How’s Your First Impression?

One of my favorite expressions is “You only get one chance to make a first impression.”  With so many consumer choices today, it has NEVER been more important to make that first impression a good one!

I want to begin by saying that in my dealings as the President of The Kindness Revolution™, I have the opportunity to interact with literally dozens of businesses on a weekly basis.  In that role, I am contacting many of them for the first time for me.  Some would be well served to do a little inventory as to how they look from the consumer side.  I’ll have more on that later.

Let’s begin by discussing the ways that your first impression is made.  You may be surprised at the options…here are the most frequent ways a prospect is going to experience you for the first time.

• Website
• Social media (LinkedIn, Facebook)
• Telephone call

Let’s take them one at a time from a first impression standpoint.

I would like to encourage you to review each of these options as if you were seeing them for the first time.  Generally, the formula is this…you have fifteen seconds to make a good first impression.  The rest of your time is spent either confirming that first impression or changing it.

• Your Website- Most consumers are going to look at a prospect’s website before they contact or do business with a company. You should assume that to be the case with you.  From a first impression standpoint, ask yourself a few questions.  Does your website stand out from your completion?  Does it reflect who you are, your culture, your strengths, your values?  Or is just a statement of the business that you are in?  If so, you might appear as a commodity. A professional, personalized website is a great marketing investment.
• Social media- Most agents have three social media platforms…personal Facebook, business Facebook, and LinkedIn. It is not unusual for a prospect to check you out on all three, and each should have a different look.

Your personal Facebook page is where you can show your family, your love of the Cowboys, and what you did during the summer.  I would suggest that you minimize your religious, political, and social views unless you feel the unswerving need to share them.  I personally know of numerous individuals who have lost business due to their radical expressions of feelings that were in conflict with some of their clients.  I would suggest that you be both careful and thoughtful in this regard.

Your business Facebook page is a unique platform.  Many businesses have a business page, post on it frequently, and are not aware that virtually no one is seeing their posts.  Putting posts on a business Facebook page does NOT insure that it is going to be seen; a business Facebook page must be promoted either by boosting posts or promoting the page otherwise. Posting that this is a good time to get your roof inspected and being seen by your family and staff is a waste of time. In my experience, most businesses have a business Facebook page because somebody in marketing has said “You must have a business Facebook page.” A business Facebook page without engagement and conversation does not make a good impression.

Regarding LinkedIn, this is where you want to be professional and business like. This is where you need to appear as if you were in the job market because…you are!  You are applying for the job of my insurance agent! LinkedIn should be seen as your online resume.

• Telephone Call- Once you have passed the online impression test, you want to get a phone call from your prospect. Consumers want to hear a brief, enthusiastic, understandable greeting.  They don’t need to hear that it’s a great day at your business or any other cutesy comment that doesn’t help them get to whom they want to speak to.

Remember…you get one chance.  Be sure to make the most of it!

Ed Horrell is the President and Founder of The Kindness Revolution™ and author of the best-selling book of the same name.  He can be reached at ed@thekindnessrevolution.net.

The Power of Cause Marketing

Considering today’s competitive environment, it has never been more important for small businesses to have something that separates them from their competition.  Perhaps it is time to consider Cause Marketing.

As a broad definition, Cause Marketing is when a nonprofit and a for-profit corporation partner together with the purpose of advancing the mission-related work of the nonprofit and the marketing goals of the corporation.  The purpose is to create a win-win situation for both participants.

With regard to the “marketing” side of the equation, the idea is to attract consumers who support the “cause” side of the program.  Experience and history show that Cause Marketing, when used properly, can be a VERY effective way to attract prospects to your agency AND separate you from your competition.

It is very possible that if your business doesn’t stand for a cause, consumers may turn to your competitors.  The results of the Cone Cause Evolution survey show that the number of consumers who say they would switch brands if the other brand were associated with a cause that they believe in has grown to 87 percent!

Even niche markets (i.e. college students) now reflect a preference for brands that they believe are socially responsible. A recent study from Alloy Media reflects that 95 percent of college students are more likely to pay attention to marketing efforts that promote a business’s partnership with a cause.

A joint venture between American Express and the Statue of Liberty Restoration Fund led to increased profits and donations. In 1983 American Express initiated the fund raising drive with a $6 million advertising campaign that came from its marketing budget. The company raised $1.7 million in a period of three months to restore the Statue of Liberty. American Express promised to contribute a penny for each charge on an American Express card, a penny for each purchase of traveler’s checks, $1 for each new card issued, and $1 for every vacation worth $500 or more sold at an American Express travel store. During that period, the use of the card went up 28 percent nationally. American Express coined the phrase “Cause-Related Marketing” during this campaign.

At the time of the writing of this column, close to 300 leading small businesses have adopted The Kindness Revolution™ as partners for their cause-marketing efforts.   Here are some characteristics of their successful campaigns:

• Their entire team is on board and believes in the cause. For a Cause Marketing program to succeed, the entire team must believe in the cause AND talk about it part of their daily communication. Would you rather hear a telephone greeting that says “Jones Allstate…we sell life insurance” or “Jones Allstate…leaders of The Kindness Revolution”?
• They involve the cause in their social media programs. Connection with the cause in your content leads to engagement with followers.  Would you rather read some positive news about something happening locally or read that it is time to get your oil checked?
• They let prospects and customers know that by doing business with them, they are supporting the Kindness Cause. Consumers want to know that there is financial commitment to the cause. Be warned that general comments such as “We donate a portion of our proceeds to Make-A-Wish”, etc. are restricted unless you have made an agreement with the cause. Unless you state AND show a SPECIFIC amount of profits or sales to a cause, you are not allowed to state it.   Our Kindness Revolution™ members make a specific monthly contribution to support the cause.

One of my favorite stories is that of one our Champions in Colorado Springs, Colorado.  When he came on board with us, he said he had been selling insurance for 32 years and it stopped being fun.  Since he joined The Kindness Revolution™, he has promoted himself as the CKO (Chief Kindness Officer) of Colorado Springs.  When asked what he does, he now says “I promote kindness!  I sell insurance to support my work.”  People are intrigued by what he does, which promotes engagement, which promotes sales.

Try this…go to a social event and discuss a cause you believe in.  Go to another one and discuss what you sell.  You will see for yourself.

The collective dream of all small businesses is the same… the billboard, shopping cart ad, or direct mail piece that will cause your phone to ring off the hook with calls such as “I really hate to bother you, but can you sell me something”.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist.

Marketing takes time and effort.  I simply shake my head in AMAZEMENT when I hear “I just don’t have time for that!”  There is no Easy Button…

Ed Horrell is the author The Kindness Revolution™ and founder of the national initiative of the same name.  For more information on how to start a Kindness Revolution™ in YOUR community, contact Dave Daily at Dave@JoinTKR.com.

The Butterfly Effect

In my corporate talks, I like to reference a theory which scientists have been unable to disprove.  It is called the Butterfly Effect and theorizes that, given the proper conditions, a butterfly flapping its wings in Memphis can create atmospheric changes that can result in a hurricane in Japan.

You might be wondering what this has to do with a column on customer service.  The answer is…a lot!

Surveys constantly support the notion that the number one reason that customers leave a service provider vowing never to go back is due to an attitude of indifference on the part of one employee.  Just one!  In other words, the seemingly insignificant actions of making a customer feel unimportant results in the permanent loss of that customer.  That customer, in turn, may tell another prospective customer who then doesn’t patronize the service provider to begin with!  The storm begins to swell.

Many business leaders and executives fail to realize how much their small actions mean to their subordinates and co-workers.  These small actions, such as not paying attention to an employee’s personal problems or simply ignoring an employee in the hall, can lead to that employee being indifferent to a customer.  We have already discussed that impact

Many of us fail to consider the effect that we have every day on the people around us.  Think for a moment of the people who have had the most influence on your life.  Do they know how much they impacted you?  Have you ever let them know how much you appreciate the little things they did that had so much influence on how you live your life?

Here are some ways that you can assure that the Butterfly Effect works in a positive way for the people you touch:

• Remember that if you are in a position of authority or leadership, someone is watching your attitude and behavior constantly. They are determining everything from using your behavior as a model to whether they might follow your lead as a career path.  Be a good role model for the people who follow you.
• Your personal issues that cause you to be in a bad mood can and do affect the people around you. Your poor behavior because something is bothering you can lead to someone else having a bad day and behaving the same way.  Try to separate your personal problems from your business behavior.
• Your small positive actions may lead to someone else’s positive actions.  In the classic “pay it forward” method, it seems that acts of kindness often lead to other acts of kindness.  Think many small nice acts as opposed to one enormous one.
• Your customers and employees discuss their experiences with you. This “buzz” is extremely impacting on a business, especially as regards sales and recruitment.  Positive experiences get told and retold; these stories become the culture of any organization. The consistent small acts of the employees of Nordstrom and The Ritz-Carlton, for example, lead to the customer service mystique for which they are renowned.  In both instances, customers are more aware of the service through conversations with other customers than through advertising.  Enormous results are achieved from a lot of small actions.

So why not think before you take even the smallest action today.  Remember that your slightest actions might change the direction of a customer or co-worker.  Substitute impatience with empathy, indifference with kindness.

Observers of your company will notice the difference in your employees, small changes will create large results, and you’ll start a Revolution of Kindness.

Ed Horrell is author of the best seller “The Kindness Revolution” and founder of the initiative of the same name. For information on The Kindness Revolution, go to www.thekindnessrevolution.net

Is it time to fire a client?

  For a long time, I have advised clients and seminar attendees to “hire slowly and fire quickly”, with the meaning being when you make a hiring mistake, even after due diligence, correct the mistake and move on.  While I quickly relinquish any claims to originating this idea, I have found it to be good advice.  An employee who doesn’t fit a positive corporate culture can drastically and negatively impact a company, especially a small one.

The question for this article is this..Is there a good time to fire a client?  Can a bad apple in our client base destroy the culture of a small company? In my opinion, the answer is “yes”.

Usually, a simple run-through of your existing customer/client base will help you decide.  Do you have one (or more) clients that seem to consistently cause you problems…unwarranted complaints, uncommon requests or demands, constant threats to leave, rudeness to your staff?  Sometimes, the combination of stress and time makes them more costly to keep than to keep them on board.  If the value of the customer is worth the effort to maintain them, then you don’t don’t need to read any further.

However, should you find the value of your client to be less than the effort to service them, here are some suggestions for dealing with it:

1) Compassionately advise your customer that their behavior is causing you and your team problems that you are having difficulty dealing with and that a change needs to be made.

2) When asked, specifically describe what is causing the problem.  I put emphasis on the word “specific”. Don’t use vague terms such as “difficult”, “rude”, etc.  Be specific with the behavior that is causing the problem.

3) If they counter with “Well, if you change this then I will change that”, be prepared to make the decision.  DO NOT counter your corporate culture to save a customer.

4) If you decide that it is not worth maintaining the relationship, kindly recommend them to your competition.

Remember, it is not unkind to fire either an employee or customer as long as it is done with dignity and respect.  Sometimes, the relationship is just not worth it.

One final note.  I have never had a client or colleague who has followed this advice and regretted it.  The most common comment I receive is “I wish I had done this sooner”.

onEd Horrell is author of the best seller “The Kindness Revolution” and founder of the initiative of the same name. For information on The Kindness Revolution, go to www.thekindnessrevoluti.net

It’s Cool to be Kind

I speak professionally to business people on the power of kindness.  In business today, with all of the fear, negativity, and indifference in the marketplace, businesses are finding that values-based leadership makes an extremely positive difference in the workplace.

Do our children feel this way?  Can it be cool to be kind?

I have four grandchildren that I adore.  They are kind kids being raised by kind parents. I may sometimes worry about their well-being but I never worry about their values.  They are values-driven, kind kids.

What I DO worry about, however, are the kids that are being taught that kindness isn’t cool, that nice guys finish last, that being kind equals being a wimp.  I am afraid that too many of our children’s’ role models are tough talking athletes, TV, and movie celebrities that are great entertainment but poor examples of the power of kindness.

I want to make this as clear as I can.  It is time for kindness in every aspect of our lives…at home, in business, in society.  There is enough “tough guy” posturing in politics, sports, and business to go around.  We as parents need to start letting our children know that it is cool to be kind.

I think there are some things we can do as parents of these easily influenced girls and boys to help them make their decisions towards kindness.  Here are some suggestions:

1)    Stop trashing the teachers.  They are not perfect; they’ve got their own issues.  Rather than take it out with the kids, why not practice some patience (and kindness) with a private, calm meeting to determine how Charles can do better in class.  Charles’ teacher is going to appreciate some calm in a very tumultuous life and the result will probably be pleasantly surprising.  Note to self: kindness takes some effort!

2)    Try coaching rather than yelling.  Our children steal more with their eyes and ears than we can imagine.  A little encouragement and coaching go MUCH farther than yelling and screaming.

3)    Remember the good old days.  We were each at one time the age of our children.  We forget that too often…when our kids err in judgment; it might not be a bad idea to remember the good old days…when we were in their shoes.  This generation is not any more going directly to hell with Miley Cyrus than we were with Elvis.

4)    Set an example.  From the pizza delivery boy to the principal of the school, show that respect and kindness is applied to every person at every level.  Booker T. Washington said “When we can teach our children that it takes as much dignity to till a field as to write a poem, then we will achieve”.

5)     Keep the lights on.  As long as our kids know that we love them, they are going to be okay.  It’s okay to hate the sin, but love the sinner.  Let our children know that we love them in spite of their errors, and that they are always safe in the warmth of home.  This is the essence of kindness.

Kindness is on the comeback.  In every profession and industry, examples of leaders who practice patience and kindness are standing out.  Ask any student, athlete, soldier, employee, or friend…who would you rather your leader be, with all things being equal?  Bad-ass or kind?

You’ll get your answer.  It is cool to be kind.

Ed Horrell is the best-selling author of The Kindness Revolution and founder of the organization of the same name.  More information can be found at www.thekindnessrevolution.net.  Ed can be reached at 901-757-3768. 

Are You Chasing New Customers or Attracting Them?

I am going to talk today about the specific difference between chasing new customers and attracting them.  It is my hope that by the time you reach the end of this column, you will agree that the latter is better!

For most companies, the “chase” begins with advertising.  A typical “Chaser” will run an ad (magazine, radio, social media, etc.) and wait for prospects to respond.  While this method has been successful in the past, the evolution towards the desire to acquire like-minded customers is changing the dynamics of recruiting for new customers. An “Attractor” understands the long-term value of creating an environment or trust in the relationship and is willing to invest the time to create that trust.

The reason for the change is simple; the number of ads that a consumer is bombarded with makes it more difficult to get the consumers’ attention to accurately assess their options.  I call this “option shock”…how often can i hear that this choice is the cheapest and quickest?  Can’t only one choice be least expensive?  Do I REALLY want to buy from the cheapest?

This actually lowers the trust factor that a growing number of consumers have in the ads that they observe.

When a paradigm shift takes place from being viewed as a “technician” in your field to more of a “trusted adviser”, like-minded consumers become more attracted to your product or services, placing lower regard on price and more on value.  As a result, your business becomes the only logical choice and resistance to price is greatly diminished.

Let’s take a look at the three distinct phases of consumer attraction…they are #1) Attraction, #2) Engagement, and #3) Follow up. Chasers tend to be confused, impatient, or incompetent regarding #3. Attractors understand the importance of that important step in creating trust.

The Chaser likes the concept of running an ad, getting a call, giving a quote, and closing the sale. If the close doesn’t take place quickly, the Chaser moves on to other prospects, continuing to look for, and desire, the quick sale.  Chasers will plow through prospects like a tornado, not spending much time following up in the quest for the close. Chasers tend to go from one marketing program to another, being on a constant search for the “easy button”, that program that is going to generate phone calls from hungry consumers desiring to buy the Chaser’s product or service.  (Note to Chasers…it is not out there).

Attractors, on the other hand, enjoy building the relationship through follow up.  They realize the long term value of having a trusted relationship with their customers, realizing that this trust will last through prices and problems.

Look at your business and ask this question…is my business involved in programs that would attract the consumer that I want to do business with to become interested?  Will they be willing to discuss, or even participate, in a cause that I believe in?  Or am I simply interested in tearing through prospects until I get one to say “yes”?

If you said “yes” to the second question, welcome to the Old School.

Ed Horrell is author of the best seller “The Kindness Revolution” and founder of the initiative of the same name. For information on The Kindness Revolution, go to www.thekindnessrevolution.net

Buying from locally owned businesses

The Kindness Revolution is beginning a national campaign to encourage recognizing and buying from local, small businesses.  In my opinion, there are good reasons that we consumers should shop local as often as we can.

Before I go any further, let me emphasize that our campaign is by NO MEANS an attempt to boycott or eliminate large chain operations. I certainly realize the economic impact to many communities based on the presence of large, national organizations. As a Memphian, I can attest to the importance of FedEX here in my town. Their presence assures a more stable tax base, more purchasing power in the community, more job opportunity, and their corporate support of everything from local charities to athletics is unmatched.

That said, my urge would be for these same FedEx (and other) employees to shop local as often as they can.

Let’s take a look at some reasons why:

First, and maybe most importantly, the innovation and creativity behind many local small businesses contributes to the culture of a community.  From Chicago pizza, ,to New York deli, to Maine lobsters, to Memphis barbecue, the local “touch” differentiates our community cultures and adds variety to what could otherwise be a national standard.  I love to hear the stories about “while you are there, you HAVE to visit ABC Restaurant”.

In addition to the cultural distinctions, the economic benefits of shopping locally are both obvious and huge, involving the simple fact the locally-owned business profits stay in town!  The better the business does, the more money stays local.  Not only from a tax perspective, but from a local spending angle, more local profits results in more local business.  Local bank deposits are larger, real estate is purchased by the local owners as opposed to remote executives, local business profits circulate through the local community as opposed to landing in some corporate remote city.

And finally, you may not be surprised to hear that local non-profits estimate that local companies donate up to 250% more than national corporations to their charities.

So let’s support our locally owned companies. it is as simple as occasionally getting  a cup of coffee from the local coffee shop, getting your hamburger from the local shop, and picking up your groceries from the local grocer. You’ll meet some interesting people and will definitely make a difference in your community.

Help The Kindness Revolution by simply saying “Thanks!” (and spending a few bucks there).  Imagine the difference we could make if we each committed to spending an extra $50 or $100 a year at local businesses!

Should we “hire the smile and teach the skill?”

One of the favorite stories from my book, “The Kindness Revolution”, deals with the Nordstrom philosophy of hiring their employees.  They call it “hire the smile and teach the skill”.  Restated, this simply means that they have found it makes more sense to hire good people and teach them the retail business than to hire experienced retail employees and try to mold them into good people.

It must work well…the success of Nordstrom is phenomenal.

I don’t have to describe the incredible customer attraction of an organization consisting of “good” employees, employees who are trustworthy, kind, and empowered to use their own judgment to deal with customer problems.  Most companies can only imagine the results of this cultural change.

But it can, and does, happen.  Companies are rapidly discovering the improvements in both employee and customer retention when they focus on redefining their cultures to emphasize values such as kindness and respect and not taking their eyes off of that culture.

Note the use of the word “redefine” in the last sentence. I use that because, unbeknown to some business leaders, ALL companies and organizations have a culture.  The fact that many leaders do not recognize their culture doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.  It simply means that the culture is not recognized at the top (you can believe that it IS recognized by the employees!).

When the focus of an organization shifts towards one based on “good people”, such as Nordstrom’s, an interesting phenomenon takes place.  The organization becomes “self policing” and the employees who don’t fit into the redefined culture feel so uncomfortable that they eventually leave….they don’t fit in the new culture.

Try it.  The next time you are filling a spot in your company, put focus on the “people” side of the prospective employee as opposed to the “skill” side.  See for yourself the difference it makes in your company.

Companies that focus on kindness are going to win the day against those who focus merely on process and skills.

Ed Horrell is author of the best selling book The Kindness Revolution and Founder of the national initiative of the same name.